I totally stalk my own kid. I stalk her on Facebook. I don't think that's weird. It's the year 2010. Did you know that? Well it is and kids are busy on Facebook. They do all the Facebook "apps." That's probably the wrong word but I'm just the mother, what do I care? They all have a "Lover of the Day." I'm not even kidding. My eleven year old child (I mean twelve year old) has a "Lover of the Day." What in the hell is that? A fantasy love interest? I thought you had to wait until you were married to get a hold of one of those. Apparently these days all you have to do is touch a button and there they are! I've seen other of my daughters friends that are my "facebook friends," with the same thing. Your lover could be a boy or a girl or maybe a fan page. I'm not positive about that one but one time I saw someone's "Lover of the Day," was a dog face. Cause that's not weird.
Besides "Lover of the Day," they all have long lists of "children" and who their "parents" are. I'll tell you what, I'm not listed on her Facebook page as parent. And I know for a fact that I am. That's more than I can say for my ex husband. I'm totally kidding! I'm pretty sure. I'm just kidding Mommy. I'm just entertaining myself now with this rambling bit of nonsense.
Like my old blog, I am going to bind this up and give my children a little taste of who I was to read about when I'm dead and gone. I like to think in my head that they are going to fight over it.
"No I want Mommy's blog!"
Then the other one will say, "But she mentioned me more! She loved me more! She told me all the time that I was her favorite."
And then Thing One will say, "YOU LIAR (All caps Dr. D. style) Mom loved me best! I was her favorite! She told me all the time."
Then at some point they will come to realize that I told them both that every day. Then they'll rip the blog book in half and it will gather dust from then until the end of time. With any luck, Mickey's great great great grandson will refrain from peeing on it.
I forget why I started this but I'm sure it was really important and I'm sorry (Sima and Sue) that I can't remember now.
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Um, Amy, or they may tell you what I keep telling my dad. "We love you but we're not naming a library after you when your gone to store your beloved writings."
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, your ramblings are so much more entertaining than, say, "Practical Theories of Clinical Hypnosis in the Treatment of Fill-in-the-blank-itis." So your kids might keep them....Just sayin'.
You do know that I am just kidding, Right? Believe me, your kids will keep these writings forever. How can they not? Kamikaze Squirrels, Brothers with Cat Troubles, Random Strangers in NYC Coffee Shops (You're Pretty!) Need I go on?
ReplyDeleteOf Course, I do think that they should build a library for "Favorite Comments and Song Parodies." Just sayin'
Of course I knew you were kidding! I love your comments. It's funny cause that comment kind of leads to my post for today that just happened as Chase was walking out the door. :)
ReplyDeleteThose parodies should be on YouTube!!!