Locked In Target

"If by accident you got locked in Target, you could live... forever."
That's what Saige said to me on our way in tonight.
Target to me is like cell phones. I know there was a time that it/they weren't around. I just don't really remember it all that clearly. Kind of like my life before marriage. I know it existed. It's all just very unclear how we got from there to here.
So as we walk in to get Chase the freshly made twice baked potatoes that I can only get at Target we continue her thought.
"No, really Mom. They have everything. They have groceries and clothes and tv's!"
"I bet there's a shower around here somewhere too, if not, I guess you could just wash up in the sink." I add.
"Right! They have shampoo and conditioner and even hair straighteners," she says happily.
"Yes, you could live in Target and look good doing it!" I add.
She ignores me.
We are walking down the aisle going for that grocery section at 7.30 on a Thursday night. It's dark outside and rainy and a damp and really we should be home.
"Hey look! That's Aunt Sarah over there!" she says.
Of course it is. It's friggin' Target, why wouldn't we run into someone?
Where did I used to shop for nonsense and twice baked potatoes? I can't even vaguely remember. I think one time when I need a garden hose I went to K-Mart but there was no Wegmans those days so I don't know where those potatoes could have come from. They had to come from somewhere.
Maybe I made them. Maybe I pulled out my big kitchen aid mixer thing (that I got as a wedding present from that foggy but really happened event) and I put it on the counter and I peeled some potatoes while I chatted on the phone with the long curly cord that was attached to the wall and I made some of those twice baked potatoes. Maybe. Unlikely but I can't think of a better explanation.
After we got through our Target get together with Aunt Sarah, Viv and Jude we hurried down the aisle because by this point Chase was calling from his Iphone to Saige's Iphone wondering where we were. Just like I used to do back in 1979 when I was a ten year old kid and my mom was out shopping. Not.
"On our way," Saige lied way to skillfully for my liking.
"Oh my God! Oh no! Oh my God!" I yelled.
"Are there none left?" Saige asked as we stared at the spot where the potatoes should have been.
"Oh man, he's going to be mad. That was all he wanted. What can I get him that he would like as much?" I asked as I scanned the other pre made foods for something he liked.
"Sushi?" Saige said.
"They don't have that here," I said.
" That's the one thing Target doesn't have!" she said, "I guess you couldn't live here long, Mom," she added knowing my great love for the chance of mercury poisoning.
I guess she's right on point cause I don't see a wine list sitting around anywhere either.
Target needs to step it up if they want me squatting there anytime soon.