Be Sick On A Friday!

There is something that absolutely drives me crazy. It's called the "Monday Blues." I think the Monday Blues come from having way to much fun over the weekend. Ice skating, movies, sleepovers, trips to the mall, out for ice cream, staying up to late, etc... Then Monday rolls around and I hear, "I don't feel good." Now wait, you might be asking why I would let them do all that over the weekend? A ha! I didn't! They bullied poor, overly nice, Marc into doing it. Word to the wise, when you are going through a divorce, no matter how amicable, there is still guilt involved. There is still the need to make everyone happy. It's not right. It's all part of the process. At any rate, Sunday night rolls around and he gladly drops off two "sick" children to me.

Saige might have been a tiny bit sick. Chase, huge faker.

Chase isn't even the best faker either, he's all, "Ooooh my throat," then I see him eating potato chips. Or "Aaaaah my head hurts," then he's playing on his computer.

At least Saige can produce a cough and a dry heave here and there. You know, something for the fans. Something to make it believable.

I always tell my kids, "Listen, be sick on Friday all you want. You can stay in all weekend and we'll cuddle and play cards and I'll make you chicken soup. When you're sick on a Monday, I have a small percentage of patience. And I usually spend what I have trying to figure out if you've scammed me or not."

Saige would be furious if she read this. She really doesn't fake. Chase on the other hand would just probably shake his little head with his much to long hair and smile as he petted my hand and said, "I love you Mommy. You're so pretty."
Eddie Haskell.

Now I am going to wake their asses up and send 'em out the door. Buh bye.

Creeping Up On the Teens

My two children are 15 months apart. They seem to growing a very rapid rate though. It seems like just yesterday they were babies. Today it's a whole other story.
Yesterday Chase and I went to Target so he could get Valentines cards for his class and a special box of chocolate for his girlfriend. Yes, his girlfriend. One night Saige showed me that his little girlfriend had made her "status" on AIM (I don't even know what this means) "Chase is my life A+C <<<<<<<33333.
So that's nice. Not.

And then we have Saige. Saige is twelve. I guess moodiness comes with the territory but some weeks are worse than others. Most times I just try to keep my head down low and implement the "NO EYECONTACT" rule that I learned years ago from a friends mother that let us go to NYC alone for the day. That rule might just have kept us alive.  I find it works well with preteens too. The only problem is sometimes these girls won't let up on you no matter how hard you try to camouflage yourselves into your surroundings.
For instance, last week Saige called me on the phone, "Mom, I left my sneakers in my locker. I need them for dance or I will get in trouble. Can you call Nancy and see if Emily has a pair I can borrow?"
"You can call Nancy," I say.
"I don't want to. I want you to," she whines at me.
"Yeah well, the thing is, I didn't leave my sneakers in the locker. You did. Therefore, you call."
This goes back and forth for quite a while. She just won't let up on me. Now she has it in her head that I should call because I am the Mom. I'm feeling like she should figure it out. After she had been on me for about an hour I say, "Listen to me, you have four choices, you can call Nancy, you can wear my sneakers, you can go to dance and get in trouble or don't go to dance at all. No matter what you choose I am not calling Nancy."
So she called.
She rang across the street in a huff, she came home in a bigger huff because she didn't like the sneakers they had loaned her. She stomped up the stairs muttering to herself some nonsense. In as cheery voice as I could muster out I said, "Okay honey, I'm getting in the car, it's time to go." Stomp, slam, stomp, stomp was all I heard.
I got in the car and waited and suddenly she appeared all smiles. "Look!" she said, "I didn't leave my sneakers at school, they were in my room after all."

Kids are fun. Little angels. Love 'em so much.

Happy New Tiger's Day

As much as I love to make fun of the tiger buddha that Lisa had to have I am now second guessing all my teasing. Well, not so much second guessing it as kind of feeling that perhaps it was meant to be.
You see, Lisa is in a vortex. That's right. A vortex. She is smack at the center of one. Twirling and spreading energy. Somewhat like a whirling Dervish if you will. At least that's what she tells me. And I believe everything she says unless she tells me I look skinny, then I know she's lying. So it's not surprising to me that today is the start of the Chinese New Year. This is the year of the tiger. The very first purchase for our studio was a chinese woman in a tiger suit. Coincidence? I don't think so. But that's just me. I don't believe in coincidence.

According to my moon chart today is also a new moon. I am obsessed with the moon. I love the whole concept of a new moon because it means this is when the moon lies between the earth and the sun. Because of this we see the moon in conjunction with the sun, therefore, we see the unilluminated side of the moon. Other wise known as the dark side of the moon. The side that you can't see. I love this concept with the moon or people. There's a side that don't see, but don't worry, the light comes around again.  Just like our tiger buddha. We are pretty sure she comes alive at night and dances around Lisa's kitchen but we have never actually seen it happen.

And to round it out to the lucky number three, it is also Valentines Day. This is nice cause it's a day about love. Peace. LOVE. Art. Yoga. Do you get it?

My Lover

Lisa and I were back in NYC for the gift show a couple weeks ago. The International Gift Show is one of those things that everyone wishes they could go to. We had some requests to go with us but we had to say no because it actually is a lot of work. It's a ton of vendors and a ton of choices and a ton of thinking and walking around. It is fun but it is also very draining.

After the first day we were there we headed over to my brother's apartment. He generously lets us stay there whenever we come to town. Besides partnering with Lisa another thing I would highly suggest is to get yourself with a brother that lives in New York City. It was one of my favorite parts of my life. He didn't even get mad when we got pink eye all over his apartment. Anyway, we all know that Mark is gay. Keep that in mind for later in the story.

So Lisa and I hang out with him for a while. We try to get him to come out to dinner with us but he is sick and needs to get some work done so Lisa and I bundle ourselves up and head up a couple blocks to the very yummy restaurant Barbounia.

We sit at the tall tables by the bar even though our favorite bartender is working. We need to review stuff and plan for the next day and we are tired. Usually we fancy ourselves good entertainment for him but tonight we just want to eat and go home. After we were done eating Fernando the bartender comes over to talk to us. Just so you know, Fernando looks very similar to Johnny Depp except he is about 6'3 and very thin and wears these thick black rimmed Raybans.
"We're going to leave soon Fernando, we're tired," I say.
"Oh don't leave yet. My lover is coming in, I want to introduce you," he replies
Now before I can even open my mouth Lisa exclaims, "Oh, HE is?"
Wait, did she just call him gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just, he isn't.
Fernando just smiles. "It's a she not a he, but don't worry about it, it's no big deal," he says.
At this point a little chuckle would have been sufficient but this is Lisa we are talking about. A little chuckle is not in her repertoire. She wants to explain herself now. I just lean back and start to enjoy the show.
"Well, oh my goodness. Of course it's not a man. I knew that. It's just, it's just, well see we were just at Amy's brothers apartment and he's gay and we were talking about gay men and boyfriends. Of course I know you're not gay it's just  I've got gay on the brain," she sputters out.
Gay on the brain?
Huh.
Good one Lisy.
That explains it.
Do you get it?

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Buddha

When you are starting a business there are many things that are imperative to get. For instance, a building to have this business in. Maybe some insurance. Perhaps inventory would be needed. You might want to consider furniture for you establishment.

Those are just my thoughts.

A few weeks ago Lisa and I went to one of my favorite stores called Material Culture to look for some old doors to put in an opening in our studio to close off the yoga room from the retail space. I would consider doors a "needed" item. We looked and found two different sets. Lisa had her heart set on a pair that were stacked behind about a MILLION other pairs. We were going to need ten strong men and some oxen to get them out.  I could already tell though that they were going to be to expensive. I said, "They are three thousand dollars. We are not getting them." She said, "You don't know that! I want to see them." I just petted her sweet little head and sighed, "Okay...." So we got the oxen and the men and they moved everything else for us to see. Lo and behold they were the bargain price of $2900! Knowing that ahead of time is one of my special gifts. That and total consciousness when I die. We found other pairs too. More in our price range. She grudgingly agreed to the less expensive doors.

Then she spotted some very cute little stools. They were adorable but they were also three hundred dollars a piece, she wanted four and we haven't started buying furniture yet. I had to physically drag her away from them. It wasn't easy.

Then. Then came the "Tiger Buddha."
"Look! Look!" she exclaimed.
"What?"
"We need this! Look how cute it is! It's a little tiger Buddha," she was gushing.
I looked.
Oh jesus. Really?
Then one of the men who works there came over.
"How much is this tiger buddha?" she practically screamed at him. "We need this! We are opening a CHILDREN'S yoga studio. PLAY. Peace, love, art, yoga. Do you get it? Wouldn't this look so cute for the CHILDREN???"
"It's four hundred dollars," he said, "But I can give it to you for two sixty."
"Amy, please. Look at it! It's so cute. We need this," she said.
"It's scary," I said.
"No! You wouldn't let me get anything else. I'm getting this. Dave wants me to have this today. He wants me to have the tiger buddha," she was set on it.
I need to pick my battles. I had already saved us $4200 that day, so fine, get the freaky little thing if you must.
She was so happy. She practically skipped up to the counter with her odd little chinese woman with boobs in the tiger costume. She did accidentally bang it's head on the door on the way out but I guess that's really neither here nor there.
I sent this picture to my friend to show him what we HAD to have for our studio. His reply was, "Oh my goodness! Yes, every new business needs one of those!" Uh... yeah.

Do You Get It?

"PLAY. Peace, love, art, yoga. PLAY. Do you get it? Peace, love, art, yoga. PLAY. Do you get it?"

I have heard that so many times and it delights me every single one of them. It is Lisa telling people the name of the business we are starting. She likes to repeat herself. She likes to make sure people understand. She also likes them to smile and shake their head yes. So be forewarned, if she approaches you, and chances are she will. You better react properly. Don't say I never told you.

 This business is why I haven't been writing on here lately. I'm to tired. She is a slave driver. I love every second of it though. I would highly recommend starting a business with her, if I hadn't gotten her first that is. Oh well. Next lifetime.

It is going to be a studio for children and adults, mostly children, where they can take art and yoga classes. It is going to be a beautiful place where they can use their imaginations for a while and be creative with their minds and bodies. We think this is a problem these days. There is to much time spent txting on cell phones and IM'ing and facebooking. There is to much time spent playing video games, watching tv, and surfing the net. There is a lack of face to face communication  that is going to hinder their ability to properly connect in the adult working world and in relationships.

 So, here we come.
 PLAY, peace, love, art, yoga, do you get it?